


Really, Eggsy?

by Doteruna



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Hurt, Kingsman Training, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 18:28:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9670817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doteruna/pseuds/Doteruna
Summary: Eggsy is a pretend candidate for the new Kingsman trials and 'dies', only to be recognized by another recruit later on.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's 2am i thought it was funny when i wrote it please don't hate me lol

“Hey, Eggsy, catch!”

Eggsy turned just in time to snatch the leash out of the air, laughing as JB barked. 

“Are we running the training course again?” he asked, clipping the leash to his pug’s collar and following Sean out of the dormitory. “We ran it twice yesterday!” 

“I know, but I want to be prepared,” Sean exclaimed. “We’re running it in front of one of the agents tomorrow, I want to be prepared. Merlin said we’d be doing more hand-to-hand with her at the end of the week. I’ve gotta make a good impression.”

Sean Miller was a good kid, Eggsy had decided on that after a few days. He was posing as a recruit for the position of Kay, who’d unfortunately taken two bullets to the heart in Moscow a month ago. Out of all the posh kids that Kingsman had picked out for the candidates, three weren’t total assholes. The young man Roxy had chosen, a young woman from Tristan, and Sean, who was suggested by Elyan. He was a few years older than Eggsy but had grown up in somewhat similar circumstances, and he didn’t have the stuck-up personality of an American celebrity, so he and Eggsy had gotten along well from the start.

Too bad Eggsy died in the driving test two days later. 

Obviously, he didn’t actually die, but he was the designated ‘this is a very deadly job interview’ guy, like Amelia had been when he was a candidate for Lancelot. It was a lot of fun ‘losing’ control of his car and rolling it a few times in a field, but hearing Sean’s cries of sorrow over the comms a few minutes later was pretty depressing. Roxy and Harry sat behind Merlin with him, listening to the candidates rant once they were back in their dorms.

“Are they fuckin’ crazy? He fuckin’ died! He really died!” Sean was yelling, while a few of the other recruits were trying to calm him down.

“They warned us in the beginning, Sean,” Sienna said calmly. “Eggsy knew the risks. Now we all can learn from his mistakes.”

“I can’t believe he fuckin’ died,” Sean mutters sadly, flopping back onto his bed. “Shit.”

That’s all that Eggsy sees of Sean or any of the recruits until almost six weeks later, when he’s chatting with Pelinor in the Kingsman Tailor shop after a long day’s work breaking up a sex-trade ring in Munich. He’s nursing a Hart-style martini and waiting for Harry himself to get out of Fitting Room 3 when the front window to the shop shatters, bullets raining down on them.

Pelinor, bless his old heart, tosses Eggsy an assault rifle from underneath the desk and loads one of his own, returning fire. Harry comes out of the fitting room with a goddamn arsenal of weaponry, tossing a few lighter-grenades out the front window before joining Eggsy and Pelinor, ducked behind the front desk.

“What the hell is going on? I leave you two rascals alone for three minutes, I swear,” he yells over the din. 

“This time, it actually wasn’t my fault,” Eggsy insisted. “I can’t even see who’s out the--”

He’s cut off by a very large grenade coming through the window, and he cusses before lobbing it back, but it only makes it a few yards back before exploding. The desk protects them from the worst of it, but the attackers are able to use the seconds after detonation to push inside the shop itself. 

“Go, go! Back into the hallway!” Eggsy yells, pushing Pelinor ahead of him. He feels a few bullets thud into the back of his suit, the fabric luckily stopping the path of the metal but leaving some tender bruises in their wake. Harry is right behind him, but in the second it takes for the older man to get behind him, a bullet worms its way between the seams of his back panel and his sleeve, punching into his shoulder.

“Fuuuuuck,” he groans, twisting to take cover in the hallway. “I’m hit. Who the fuck are these people? How many are there?”

“I think four,” Harry responds, letting off a few more shots before reloading. “I know I hit the fifth a moment ago. They’re pushing into the shop, Eggsy, we can’t let them get any further.”

“Well, let’s go, then,” Eggsy grins, and moves. 

He’s on the first man before the smoke from the explosions clears, kicking his knee out from underneath his body and catching his neck with his arms, snapping it. Harry is right next to him, swiftly dispatching the second gunman while the third lunges at Eggsy. A pocketknife to the neck is a bloody death, but then the fourth man is smacking Eggsy on the back of his head with a heavy lamp from the side table. He reaches down to pick Eggsy up by his lapel, but the young man just zaps him with his signet ring. 

“Well, that was refreshing,” Harry grumbles, grasping Eggsy’s bloodied hand and hauling him up. “Pelinor, are you all right?”

“Yes, sir,” comes the hoarse voice from the hallway. “A few of the recruits were on their way in the shuttle when the shooting started, coming back for a training mission. They should be here soon.” 

The words were barely out of the old man’s mouth when more gunshots were heard, and Harry and Eggsy ducked back behind the front desk.

 

“Are you fucking serious?” Eggsy shouts, grunting as the front door explodes and a shard of glass scrapes along his cheek. “How many of them are there?”

“Eggsy?” a confused voice yells, and the young man looks up to see Sean’s shocked face peering at him from beside Pelinor. “Aren’t you dead?!”

“Galahad, Excalibur, can you hear me?” Merlin’s deep voice finally sounds from their glasses and Eggsy swears.

“Fuck, Merl, where’ve ya been? I’ve been shot!”

“Aw, quit your whining, pup, they blocked me out of the shop’s network for a few minutes,” Merlin responds. “Anyways, there’s nine men outside and the two cars they came in. The street’s clear of civilians, so go nuts.” 

“Eggsy, what the hell is going on? Why are you here?” Sean is yelling at them from behind, but Eggsy and Harry ignore him and jump out from behind the counter. Eggsy discards the assault rifle for his handgun, shooting the first attacker in the kneecap and then in the head. The second takes the leg shot but is able to roll from the second bullet, stabbing a penknife into Eggsy’s thigh before Eggsy gets the headshot in. The young man yanks the knife from his leg and hurls it at the man who’s sneaking up behind Harry, who is dealing with his own gunman. While his back is turned, a garrotte wire is wrapped around his neck, but he just twists and uses his body weight to pull the man off-balance, turning enough to fire into his body. Harry also shoots the man in front of him, and the last attacker standing stares at them both for a second before his brain sprays out the side of his head, a mist of blood decorating the car he’d been standing next to.

“What the actual fuck is going on?” Sean yells, and Eggsy grins as Harry sighs.


End file.
